Cobwebs

I wrote this a few years ago, but I feel like it's as true today as it was then.

C O B W E B S

Posted on June 16, 2015 by Leslie Sanchez

“Can I do this again?” I asked myself.  I’ve kept it safely tucked away, shelved deep in my heart for so long. Like a child I am stumbling, tripping over my words, and backspacing left and right as my mind explores how to do this skill called writing again.  Why is this so hard? I teach third grade for goodness sake(probably shouldn’t have said that.) Maybe it’s just harder when you take something that you truly care about, and let all behold. Complete exposure and vulnerability at it’s finest.

I recently returned from a Writing Workshop at Bethel Church in Redding, CA. The trip happened sort of on a whim. My friend Wemmy told me about it about a month ago. I prayed about going and I felt like God said, “I have something for you there!” I questioned, really questioned going to a writers conference. Writing had been completely out of my radar, and somewhere along the way I believed the lie that writing wasn’t something I was meant/skilled do. Surely, there are far more skilled communicators out there than me, I will leave it to the others. Most likely this is true. I’m not the greatest, and it’s something I’ve come to grips with. It. Is. Ok. In fact, if you’ve made it this far and are tired of reading, please stop, and read something that’s more interesting to you. Believe me I wouldn’t be doing this if it was not out of pure obedience. 

Four days ago, I felt like God imprinted an image in my mind (I couldn’t shake it) and so I probed God to show me more about this picture. I felt like He spoke so clearly in my mind that I needed to write again. In this picture I saw a mahogany desk. It had skillful regal engravings etched smooth into the surface of the wood. It’s knobs were slender and placed right in the center of each of the drawers. Six to be exact; three on each side. It was beautiful. However, it’s beauty was disguised behind its dusty weathered exterior, and it looked like a couple acrobatic spiders had danced around spinning their webs from knob to knob. Have you ever moved furniture that’s been tucked away for long periods of time? Have you noticed the way that spiders place their nest in every nook and cranny? Yeah, it was kind of like that. 

In that moment I felt the sweet words of the father speak into my heart. “You have forgotten part of our history together, and the dreams I have placed in your heart.” (Mufassa moment anyone?) Ok, so it wasn’t that dramatic. The point is, I haven’t thought about writing in a long time. Whenever the thought came floating by, I’d quickly dismiss it with the simple excuse of, I’m way too busy. I think that sometimes it is much easier to tuck something like dreams away rather than to press in and hope for the unseen. Disappointment is not fun, and we humans have the natural tendency of running from the fear of ever being faced by it. By doing so, it feels like it is much easier to face, or not face what we call “limitations.” If there’s anything I’ve learned so far, it is that it only keeps us in a place of ignorance as we build our independence apart from God. Which in the long run only hinders us from fully embracing what the Father has for us.

By the way, there’s a resilient beauty that only comes from understanding and embracing our weaknesses and limitations, by realizing that our strength comes from the Lord. But I can write about that another time.

Anyways, He was right you know. It took a couple of hard looks in the mirror to snap me out of some of this, and a bit of dusting off the old cobwebs to help me remember. He’s reminded me of how in my seventh grade Language Arts class I wrote a small children’s book. I remembered that I had so much fun working on that project.  I also remember caring a journal in my bag since the age of fourteen, and writing whenever I had free time at school I’ve started two blogs, a church newspaper, and I’ve sent out a couple newsletters. Little gems that I had completely forgotten about. Slowly but surely, I think I’m getting back on the wagon. We’ll see what happens. I don’t think I have any major expectations from writing this by the way.  I only hope that whoever reads this is inspired to seek first the Kingdom of God and all his righteousness.

I feel compelled to ask you or more like challenge you to ask the Lord if there are any hopes and dreams that you have tucked away for safekeeping. Is there anything in your life that seems impossible to dream of with God? Are there any disappointments that hinder you from fully embracing the fullness of what God has for you? They are just some exploratory questions for you to ponder on. They might lead you to something great! Let me know what you discover, and how I can pray for you if you choose to let me know.  We aren’t alone friends.  — Remember the Parable of the Talents. (Matthew 24:14-30) Good stuff! I encourage you to read it.