A Message to all Fathers

You matter. Maybe you've never heard this said to you before, and you're thinking, "Yeah, right?!" Perhaps you've heard it a thousand times, and it's just a sweet sentiment. The truth is, you do. You are an essential and foundational part of your family's lives.

For the last few months, I've been observing a man in my neighborhood play basketball with his son on the driveway of their house every evening. Without fail, they are outside shooting hoops daily. Sunny, rainy, or cold weather (as long as it's reasonable), they spend time together outside. It's such a sweet picture to see every day. However, I recently thought, how does this man have the energy to play basketball with his son after a long day at work? Of course, I don't know anything about his life. I wonder if he has had a long day at work or not. What I do know is that, like all of us, I'm sure he sometimes doesn't feel like it.

It caused me to think of how often my father sacrificed his comfort and time for my siblings, mother, and me after a long day at work. I would even say that many times without a single complaint. Sure, there have been times when I've seen the look on his face that says, I am so tired! He's human. Nonetheless, he walks away from anything that he's doing at the moment to give us a hand on whatever we might need.

I know that we didn't all grow up with the best fatherly examples, and the truth is, I saw my father push through the odds himself. He wasn't modeled an exemplary father role by his father. He didn't have a father committed to my grandmother present for his children or grandchildren. His father was absent, disengaged, and abandoned his family. He was far from an exemplary father in all of the ways imaginable. I've often asked myself why my father is so different from his own.

Here is what I've noticed:

1. He decided to be different: I'm not talking about positive thinking and willpower. That wouldn't have taken him very far. He chose to be different by constantly looking to God first as his aid and role model. In the moments when he felt inadequate, short, and weary, he sought God first. Looking back now as an adult, I can say that was the most noticeable and powerful decision he made for all of us.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:18: "And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty."

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2. He sacrifices his time for our family: A quick funny story about this was when my car left me stranded on the left side of an intersection because my car ran out of fuel. It was my fault, of course. I waited too long to put gas in the car, and when I finally noticed, I quickly drove off the highway to the nearest gas station, but … I didn't make it. I was left alone by an intersection. Who else could I call? No one else came first to mind other than my Dad. It was the middle of a work day; he could of given me a LONG lecture about responsibility, called AAA for assistance, or left me there to teach me a lesson. He didn't, though. He left whatever he was working on, packed up his things, got into his truck, and told me to wait for him. He's done something like this for me my entire life.

3. His support: When I graduated from college, I moved to Ningbo, China, to teach English overseas. It was a big decision and the first big move/decision I had ever made. I'm sure he thought about all the worst-case scenarios, but he chose to bless me and let me go. It meant so much to me that he trusted me to make this decision on my own, and it filled me with courage and security to face the next big step in my life.

Why am I writing this?

I am writing to say that what you do matters. What you say matters. How you do all of it matters. The daily decisions you make, good or bad, matter. Your role is needed, and it's fundamental to creating a safe and secure environment for your family. WE NEED YOU!

Suppose you're a dad who feels like you've done all of these things and sometimes feels discouraged or lose sight of the why just from the day-to-day monotony, and perhaps you're exhausted. You wonder why am I doing this, and does anyone even care? Yes, it does! What you're sowing in all of them will someday reap. Don't give up!

If you're a father who hasn't been around for your family and you feel far from being able to bridge the gap between your wife and children. I want you to know it won't be easy, but there is still time. Seek God, and he will guide you.

2 Samuel 7:14-15: "I will be a father to him, and he'll be a son to me. When he does wrong, I'll discipline him in the usual ways, the pitfalls and obstacles of this mortal life. But I'll never remove my gracious love from him."

If you're a new father and you're wondering, how do I do this? Just walk one day at a time, seek the Lord, and choose to BE PRESENT!

All these things take time, but you will reap trust, appreciation, and fruit in future generations.

I hope you feel encouraged!

Leslie